Thoughts on Home

I know it has been far too long. I am sorry to say I succumbed to the pressures of blogging. That is, I was so concerned with posting something worth writing about (or worth reading for that matter) that rather than take the time to write about the little things or the nothings (and believe me there have been a lot of those), I opted to write about nothing at all. So this next blog is for you my faithful readers who check out this space everyday, and everyday for a month have seen no changes.

I must start with some thoughts on visiting home. Visiting home. That phrase tastes bittersweet if you let it roll around in your mouth for a while. That is what I was acutely aware of on my trip to Nebraska for Merry’s wedding (which was also a good excuse to see old friends).

I stayed with Mary Ann, which was a huge blessing because the Lord made us in such a way that we have very similar ideas of how we like to spend our free time. We took walks and naps. We went to church and out to eat. We watched movies and danced. I got to see old friends and catch up (a little). The pace of the four days I spent in Nebraska was slow and easy. It was refreshing to say the least. A lazy float down a clear river of unhurried fellowship. Thank you Mary Ann for your incredible hospitality. What a biblical picture of taking someone in and making a space for them in your home, and sharing what you have. Thank you also to Michaela and Kaitlyn for letting me invade your home. It was a special treat to see you both again.

Lauren, I enjoyed our few hours we spent together just talking. Thank you for being honest with me about your thoughts on life after college. I pray you will find your place and purpose in the world as you are finding God’s will for your life.

Jenny, ni how ma? It was great to see you again, and just fresh from your trip to East Asia. Thank you for sharing about your trip and about what you learned.

Merry, congrats on your nuptials. I look forward to walking with you in this new stage of your life.

To all the others I ran into while I was there: Phil, Justin, Crystal, Latrice, Amy C., Amy H., et. al. It was a blessing to see your familiar faces, and to be welcomed back for even a short time.

This is what it is to visit the place you instinctively call home. You come and see all the familiar sights (downtown Lincoln! Zion! 11th and H!), sounds (the train! Insects! Rain!), and faces. You come thinking to yourself “this is the place I miss, where my richest memories are, where my heart is” but you are surprised to find a fishhook in your heart tugging on you. Tugging you back to the place where you are making your life now. It is a strange duality to have your heart in two places.

Perhaps not living in the place I would call home (or not being able to call it home anymore), and living in a place I don’t call home (but merely Phoenix), can be a way to get familiar with the idea that nowhere on this earth is my home. No matter where I feel most settled, and most in tune with the pace and style of life, I will never be truly home, until I am in my heavenly home. I must confess I do not entertain thoughts such as these very often.

Yes, Lauren, it is so easy to let life be this: wake up in the morning and go to work and come home and do it all again tomorrow. We forget to live with all of ourselves. I have been so busy surviving, I haven’t been pondering my Home, and Who awaits me there. As with many things in life, now is a good time to start.