Kick Me While I'm Down

Many of you know that I am currently residing in a two-bedroom apartment with my family. Many of you may also know that there are four members in my family, including me.

So, do the math with me: Two parents minus one bedroom equals two siblings plus one bedroom. That's right. Me and my sister are sharing the remaining bedroom. Not something many of you have done since grade school. Well, not only do I have the pleasure of sharing a room with my sister (something I really don't mind), but I also have the pleasure of sharing a bed with my sister. This, I'm sure, is something not many of you have done at all, save on family vacations.

At first the idea of sharing a bed with my sister didn't seem so bad, and it's only until our house is built. Last night however, I learned a hard lesson. My sister acts out her dreams. Mostly, this results in tossing, flopping, rolling, and other actions that make it difficult for the other person in bed to maintain those precious minutes of R.E.M. Last night; however, I managed to fall asleep and was having this really realistic dream about a terrorist, an underground militia who was trying to wipe me and my friends off the face of the earth, Will Ferrell, and tea with a roguishly handsome nameless captain of the union civil war army. My friends and I were chasing down a mole in our fugitive group when a sharp shooting pain woke me up. Now fully awake, I realized my sister had just kicked me in the stomach. Kicked me in the stomach! KICKED ME IN THE STOMACH!

This morning I told my dad about what had happened starting with my dream (because you know my stories are never short), and ended with the coup de grâce. The kick in the pants my sister gave me in her sleep. My dad laughed, and my sister gave the long awaited explanation. She was fighting bad guys in her dream next door to my dream, and was busy kicking the bad guy in the head.

Of course in real life we all know what really happened.

On a related note, I've contracted my sister to act as my bodyguard.