And Out of the Ashes

Sweet Goodbyes

2007-05-27T14:05:00.000-07:00

After the Memorial Day holiday, I only have four days of school left. I think it has been slowly sinking into the kids' minds that I won't be their teacher anymore. Just Friday I was sitting at my desk filling out some paperwork, and the kids were working at their desks. Normally I'm out roaming around checking their progress, but I explained to them that I have some things I need to do for them so they are ready for second grade, so they should stay at their desks and work so I can stay at my desk and work. Well, we were wrapping up and one of my students comes behind my desk and asks me some questions about the end of the year and going to second grade, then proceeds to hug me for a long time. One of the boys in my room notices there is some hugging action he is missing out on so he adds himself to the hug. We are now in full group hug mode, and we're just sitting there hugging each other, and more students are starting to gather around looking hungry for a little hug action, so I stand up and walk over to the front of the room where we were supposed to be meeting. The kids who hadn't been a part of the group hug walked up and hugged me one by one as I walked to the front of the room. This is just one of many things that has happened; I think we've just been saying our goodbyes.

Here is another conversation about me not being their teacher next year:
"Miss Armijo, when we finish 1st grade and go to 2nd grade, will you move schools?"
"No honey, I'll be right here teaching first grade again."
"Oh."
"So, you'd better come see me all the time."
"Okay!"

At this point another little boy pipes up, "Yeah, and we can hug her too!"

To which I replied, "Yes, you can hug me. Hug me as much as you want."

Hello?

2007-05-09T17:38:00.000-07:00

Hello....hello...hello...hello...to anyone...one...one...who still reads...reads...reads...this blog...blog...blog...

I just thought I'd post a quick update! I moved into my new condo on February 16th. This is the first time I've lived alone as many of you know, and I'm still alive! I've even hosted a bunko party for school and a brunch for my Bible study!

Yes, life is good.

We only have 19 days of school left too! I feel so proud of what we've accomplished! This group feels more ready for second grade than the group I sent up last year. So yay!

What else? Hmmm, I feel like I'm leaving something out. What could it be? Oh yes! I will be up to Nebraska NEXT WEEK for Jenny's wedding! So, if you didn't know, now you do.

If anyone out there is still reading this ol' thing, I'd like to see you when I go up to the Midwest.

Home Sweet Home

2007-01-19T18:38:00.001-07:00

Remember last year when I wondered if I'd crossed the threshold of adulthood when I bought my first car?

Well, surely now I have: You are reading the blog of the owner of a 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom condominium in Glendale, Arizona. I just signed the contract today, and I close on the 16th of February, which, incidentally, is my half birthday.

24 and a half on the day I assume ownership of a piece of real estate.

I think now would be a good time to thank God for His provision, protection and love. He has been so good to me by guiding me through this process and keeping it virtually painless. When you buy something as big as this, everyone involved looks up all your history. You feel very naked and can only hope you haven't made any huge financial mistakes. As it turns out, God in His great foresight provided me with parents that taught me about financial responsibility, so I'm able to take these, my first steps into the world with confidence.

Pictures to come as I begin the nesting process!

14 days, 14 minutes

2007-01-19T18:38:00.000-07:00

The effects of a two week Christmas vacation are without measure. The class I left in December is composed of the same students, but they are now very different people. They have lost teeth, grown taller and their faces have changed somehow. When you're six everyday makes a difference. Not only that, but they are able to do things they weren't able to do when they left. It's like all the information they took in before break was on simmer on the back burner in their minds.

Two weeks can do a lot for a teacher too. I was able to get back to basics and remember what it is I want to accomplish with my class. I remembered how I want to treat them and how I should require them to treat each other. I remembered what we were striving for and how close we are getting. I came back with renewed energy and passion. Everyday I've enjoyed just being with them. I mean, don't get me wrong, there are still some pistols in there, but you know... There have been some great moments. One just happened yesterday.

I don't know how many of you have gotten a chance to sit and read with a child, but it is something awesome to behold. For a child to go from illiterate to literate is quite a transformation. It really opens their mind and increases their self awareness; reading unlocks other worlds to them. So, yesterday I was sitting with a little boy in my class who isn't very academic, and up until yesterday I thought of him as a bit hyperactive and disorganized, and yet there is still something very winning about him. We were sitting right next to each other, he had one half of the book on his lap and I had the other half on my lap. He sort of leaned against me and started reading. The book he chose was one he's been practicing at least half the year, not all the time, but he keeps going back to it. As he was reading I noticed he was using a lot of the strategies I've been teaching him. Going back and rereading sentences so they are fluent and don't sound robotic, guessing what words are based on context, etc. We struggled through it and his reading wasn't perfect, but I realized in that small moment in our day together we had bonded over reading a book. I realized how much he looked forward to reading with me, and how he really was listening to me when I was coaching him in how to read. Looking back, I should have realized that this time would matter a lot to him. He was one of the first to notice he could read a book that was full of beginning words, and he told his brother after school, "Gabriel, I read!"

It was like yesterday I discovered Freddy for the first time. A sweet boy who won't ask or beg or demand my attention, but will cherish what he gets. Who wants to learn, and is starting to harness his disorganized mind.

People, this is why I got into teaching. Kids are so real. There is no mask, there is no pretending. Everything about who they really are is right up front. God fasioned each one in my room. And sometimes, and I say this at the risk of sounding too saccharine, if I take a moment and I have my wits about me, I get to see God's handiwork.

This is what two weeks can do.

I Heart John Krasinski

2007-01-03T13:22:00.000-07:00

So, I've been watching Season 2 episodes of The Office, and I even bought all the new Season 3 episodes that have been aired (yay itunes!). And my latest celebrity crush starts now.

Anticipation

2006-11-24T15:22:00.002-07:00

We spend most of our lives waiting. Waiting for the next big stage, the next big promotion, the next big thing. I have come to consider learning to wait a discipline that will take a lifetime to master. And waiting happens in such small increments. I feel every five minutes I have to remind myself to wait on the Lord. To live in the moment and not in some projected moment in the future.

The last thing I want is to finally reach the point I have been waiting for and look back with regret at all the empty days I just spent waiting.

I want to live every moment, fill everything out so there is no space left, learn all I can, try everything I dare, and learn to trust the Lord.

Someone Else's Thoughts

2006-11-24T15:22:00.001-07:00

I wanted to post something deep and spiritual. But my thoughts are not all together on what I've been thinking about with God lately. So I leave you this link, where you can read some thoughts on the Gospel through the eyes of a Kansas City seminary student. I thought it was something good to share.

Facelift

2006-11-24T15:22:00.000-07:00

I was getting bored of looking at my blog. So, I changed it. I wish I could design my own templates. That would be tres chic.

Also, I just saw the new Bond movie. Whew. Action packed. To say the least...

Where the Heart Is

2006-11-22T13:13:00.000-07:00

I just finished reading Lauren's blog and remembered that I too had promised friends I would write about my travels to Nebraska.

It was great to see the familiar terrain: the stark branches, gray skies, crisp leaves. These are some of the things that are indelible in my mind. They have permeated my senses. More than one of you has heard me say, when it is October in Arizona, I know what it should smell like. It should smell like fallen leaves, but it just doesn't. Now I know why I was drawn to the author's of the great plains honors courses I always seemed to find myself in. The authors seemed to express in words more poetic than I ever could, what it is really like in the great plains. Stark, beautiful, life-giving, life-taking.

And now onto the people.

It was so good to see old friends and catch up on their new lives. We really are going places aren't we? Last year, Jenny asked me if I had thought of going to my 5 year class reunion. I said I hadn't even thought of it. When she asked why, I said because I'm not who I want to be yet. One year later, I think I have a little more to offer. I think that is true for everyone I encountered on my trip. More people are married and learning through a whole other person in their lives. More people have jobs that are interesting or allow them to do interesting things. We are living our lives. I felt so grown up!

It was so encouraging and heart-warming to catch up with friends that are near and dear to my heart. It was also a great blessing to celebrate with a good friend his wedding day. Congratulations Tom!

Coffee

2006-11-05T15:56:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I went to that movie, you know? When I was out with the girls one of them thought of someone I should meet. He's 25, and I think she said he's an investment broker.

So, he called me today and I'm meeting him for coffee.

Just thought you all would be interested to know... ;)

The Prestige

2006-11-05T00:29:00.000-07:00

I just saw The Prestige with some girlfriends. It was good. It is also an illustration of what can happen to people when they look to things other than God for life and significance. People sell their souls for meaning, power, and what they think is life. It is a hopeless place to be in.

But a good movie.

A Little Change of Scenery, A Little Change of Scene

2006-10-28T23:04:00.000-07:00

It is about 11:00 here in Arizona, and I am going to get ready for bed soon. I just wanted to post something. I'm not sure what... Oh! I know! I'm going to be in Nebraska in a little less than two weeks! Which also means my friend Tom is getting married in a little less than two weeks!

I am excited, and I can't wait to see old friends!

My Call to Duty

2006-10-23T21:38:00.000-07:00

I report for my first ever jury duty tomorrow.

Hopefully it will be okay. I had to make sub plans and everything. I always worry if they will know what to do and if the kids will behave.

Meanwhile I have to go to downtown Phoenix. Maybe I'll meet someone interesting. A teacher told me today that when she was summoned she watched movies for the morning and they let them go by lunch time so she went out to eat with her mom and enjoyed the day off.

Now, today was the first day back from a weeklong break, but I'll do my best to do my duty.

My Day at the Phoenician

2006-10-22T20:15:00.000-07:00

Today I had brunch with a new friend and her family at this restaurant. I must say it was quite the experience! They unfolded our napkins and put them on our laps and refolded them everytime we left the table. The champagne flowed freely and was very yummy. It was buffet style for brunch. Some of the things I tried on my first trip were: grilled salmon, breakfast sausage, a custom made mini-omlette with mushrooms; peppers; spinach and cheese, french toast with fresh blackberries and raspberries, a blueberry pastry and honeydew juice. Seriously people, everything was freshly made and with the greatest care and attention to detail. On my second trip I tried sushi (I am no longer a sushi virgin!) and french toast with bananas foster. Yum! Then, for dessert I tried chocolate covered strawberries, carrot cake, a fresh chocolate souffle with gran marnier sauce, freshly made mint chocolate chip ice cream and phoenician crunch (which has heath bars crumbled in it) and this amarretto parfait.

The word for the day was opulence. Opulence. I don't think that list does justice to the experience I had this afternoon. There was just great care taken to see that we had everything we needed and the food was rich and overflowing in abundance. I mean, this is how people dined when the feasted in the old days. We ate for, like, two hours. And I don't recommend doing that all the time because it is easy to go to far into gluttony and sloth (and greed, for that matter), but there is some serious value in taking time to savor something rich! Today I got to suck a little marrow out of life. I am grateful for the experience.

What Are Friends For

2006-10-17T16:31:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I was able to talk to Jenny on the phone as it is both of our fall breaks. We talked on every subject at great length, and at one point I found myself giving a particularly long monologue on the social implications of websites like facebook, myspace and things like cell phones, text messaging, chat rooms, online dating, etc. At one point I asked, "Are we losing our social skills?" Jenny gave a brief reply and off I went again on the social ills that are knocking at our door because we can't/won't interact anymore on a face-to-face level. I took a pause to listen for comfirmation that my audience was tracking with me. Alas, the slightest noise of affirmation was not made. After an awkward silence, I timidly asked, "Hello?" To which Jenny replied, "Hello...what? Did you go somewhere?" No, I had not gone anywhere. What could explain this curious breech in unspoken rules of verbal communication? Finally an explanation dawned on me. "Jenny, did you fall asleep?" She denied it at first, but I already knew the truth. You see, she had already fallen asleep during the two times I had clicked over to the other line (it was my family's phone line, so I wanted to at least take messages), and explained how tired she was prior to this. So, I could figure out what had happened during that silence where stars were born and died, and entire universes came into being.

Jenny had fallen asleep.

What are friends for but to keep you humble?

I'm Tired

2006-10-05T19:41:00.000-07:00

One of the consequences of your life filling out in about as many areas as a person can have (Spiritual, Pleasure, Employment...um, there probably are more) is that there just aren't as many hours in the day as I need.

I have been running around so much lately. To School, to Bible Study, to Dance, to Church. I am tired, tired, tired.

It makes enjoying the fact that I have people and places in my life now a little bittersweet.

I am trying to have a good attitude about it though. I mean, this is what I wanted.

Anyways, it's 7:40 and I'm about to go to bed.

Nighty night.

Pictures for Profile

2006-09-23T12:06:00.000-07:00

Big Hair

2006-09-23T11:53:00.000-07:00

For the past few days I've been using a diffuser to blow dry my hair. This has resulted in really big hair. Which I love. I mean, it's tastefully big, but still very large and in charge.

This new big hair of mine has caused a male teacher to ask, "Hey, have you been doing something different to your hair the past few days?" Not wanting to reveal too many hair secrets to him, I cooly replied, "Ummm...uhhh...yeah, I've been using this new.....thing." He volleyed back with, "Well, it's a good thing."

What! What! Little Rachel is involved in interoffice(campus?) shenanigans?!? Not really, but it is nice to be noticed. Wouldn't you agree?

Todabor Day is Labor Day

2006-09-03T08:24:00.000-07:00

Well, not really, but practically everytime I hear the words Labor Day, I think of the Homestarrunner cartoon where he sings a song with the above title. So, yeah.

Anyways, for Labor Day I'm going shopping with my mom, and I'm getting a massage in the afternoon, because I got a certificate for a massage for my birthday. Then me and my family will probably grill out on our new grill and go swimming. Maybe I'll take some pictures and post 'em. Happy Labor Day to me.

I hope you all out there have a restful weekend and get to spend time with people you love.

And a 5-6-7-8

2006-08-26T13:33:00.000-07:00

These are some pictures from my dance competition last weekend. It was more of a mock competition, but it was still fun. I had humongous false eyelashes, dance costumes and a good time. Yay dancing! Here is a picture of me and my teacher doing a Samba.
This is the beginning pose to another Samba I did with another teacher.
This is me getting ready to do a Tango with a friend of mine from the studio.
More of the same pose for the Samba.

Room 703: Where the Magic Happens

2006-08-23T16:52:00.000-07:00

Here we have our computers under the sheet. There are math manipulatives and leveled readers also.
This is my desk and where I also meet with reading groups. Nobody is allowed back there but me, so no touchie.
Here is our no longer virgin word wall. There are six words on it now. Spelling test on Friday. Study up!
Here is what our new writing program (which is rocking their world) includes. Pictured are a circle map and a tree map. Notice one child thought we should include God among the things in the sky. Seriously people, you wish you had my job.
Here are the games we use during choice time. Slim pickins, but they make do.
These are our "growth charts", they monitor the progress we are making with the skills in reading, and also how many books we've read.

The writing area.
Happy Heart Words and Dungeon Words. Don't say Dungeon Words because if you do, I can make life a little uncomfortable. And don't try it in Spanish either because I know both.

Step Up

2006-08-12T22:06:00.000-07:00

Go see it.

Peace, I'm out.

D-A-N-C-E Spells Dance

2006-08-11T20:06:00.000-07:00

I went to the dance studio for the first time since school started yesterday. All day long I just kept thinking "Eight more hours until my lesson....four more hours until my lesson...two more hours until my lesson..." I was definitely having dance withdrawals.

The cool thing about this lesson was that it was with my teacher, but I had also booked another teacher to watch us and give us feedback. This sounds extremely extravagant, but the only way I was able to do that was because I had been a "substitute teacher", as it were, for this second teacher. As a way of thanking me she gave me some free lessons. I thought the best way to use them was for her to watch me and Myke. She always has amazing choreography ideas, and her dancing gives me chills. Seriously. She is that good.

Anyways, so we worked together and she gave Myke and I such great ideas. She took my half of the choreography up a notch. I'm super excited now for what we have.

Anyways, the whole point of this background is to say how I felt during and afterwards.

My heart was singing. I was emanating pleasure. I am always surprised after times like that how much dance affects me. How central it is to who I am.

So, this next week I have a lesson and two practice sessions with Myke, and another lesson with another teacher with whom I'm doing a Samba. This is all in preparation for Extravadancza, which is a mini competition between the two Arthur Murray studios in the Phoenix area. Yay! Yay costume changes! Yay false eyelashes! Yay tons of fun makeup! Yay high heels shoes that I can point my toes in!

Viva la dance!

Captain Kirk Has Nothing On Me

2006-08-07T19:38:00.000-07:00

Survived first day...have some cutie patooties...very smart...all day Kindergarten really helped...also some squirrels...gotta nip that in the bud...must go rest up...no more stamina left...

Progress in Room 703

2006-08-02T18:26:00.000-07:00

My classroom is going to be super organized this year. First, I have way more storage options, plus I have the time to make decisions about where I'm going to put things.

Last year as a first year teacher my room was empty, save for the desks. Then at intervals the math and reading coaches would deliver my texts and manuals. I was throwing stuff in cabinets and on shelves like crazy. One cabinet I didn't even open again until the end of the year. This year since all my stuff was already in there, I've been able to organize it better. Plus the layout is slightly different.

Also, I have two new additions to my classroom. An awesome easel on wheels. It is humongous. It is magnetic. It has a storage shelf. Need I say more? Also, this year I have tables instead of desks. You have no idea how exciting this is for me. My heart actually leapt for joy when I saw them in my room. Ahhhh, the simple pleasures of a teacher.

There are so many new and exciting things this year. We've adopted a science curriculum, and it came with kits! We've also adopted a writing program. There are not words to describe how absolutely, positively, supercalifragilistically awesome and timely this is. I won't bore you with teacher speak, but it really breaks down the writing process, and gives the kids language to use while they are building sentences.

That is all for now. I gotta go eat dinner.

One More Day of Freedom

2006-07-29T23:17:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is my last day of summer vacation before school starts.

We have a week of preparations, and then the kiddos.

Just thought you all would like to know.

Time Flies When You Work in the Summer

2006-07-12T22:27:00.000-07:00

I realize my past three posts have been about websites. I'm in a sort of rut, I guess. So I thought I'd try and bust out by posting what's been going on with me.

Summer vakay is still in full swing. The plus side is I get time to recover from my first year of teaching. The downside is I have waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay to much time on my hands. Yeah, sure, I read a lot, and see movies and go dancing, but each of those activities is only a few hours long, and last time I checked a day has 24 hours...at least. I realize by publishing this statement I sound like a whiney baby, but I've finally realized that loads of free time is not what I want. I want to be gainfully employed, but balance that with times of rest too.

On a different note, one of the books I'm reading is called True Faced and it's written by three men at my church. It's basically about dropping the masks that we put on for ourselves to try and convince others and God that we are fine. This book is about learning to be fine with not being fine, but mostly about letting others see us and love us when we are not fine, and baring our not-fineness to those who want to love us.

It's really making me think about how real I've been with people. And I think to some extent I've been a little real with people, as I've gradually become more in touch with who I am. However I definitely think I have some masks that I didn't even know about. I'm a little uncomfortable when I read this book because I feel like it's pointing a big, fat finger at me, but I think that's good because that means I'm being stretched.

I Need a Red Paper Clip

2006-07-11T11:31:00.000-07:00

If only I could embark on a journey like this. I would be a homeowner in a year! And meet celebrities!

Where Have All the Homestarrunners Gone?

2006-07-07T15:05:00.000-07:00

This post was originally meant to be a lament on the absence of the one remnant of my college days. Where has Homestarrunner gone? For a month and a half?!

Yes, I still check this website, and though I feel a sneaking suspicion that I may soon be outgrowing Homestarrunner, I will hold out as long as I can.

Anyways, to my overwhelming joy and surprise I went to Homestarrunner.com today and there is a new cartoon!

Check it out. No seriously...check it out.

The Brawny Academy

2006-06-29T12:41:00.000-07:00

On this website there are two webisodes of (presumably) real men who are sent away to camp to learn how to be better men for their women. The camp is run by the Brawny man, who is simply very funny and very manly.

Frail Hope

2006-06-22T17:30:00.000-07:00

I will not go into details, but there is a moment when one is faced with the reality of disappointed hopes.

And also the reality that you were the one who stoked the fire that was the hope, and not only stoked the fire, but put in the kindling, then the nice, stout logs, then struck the match and threw it on the whole mess. So, it is only natural that you should be the one to watch those hopes burn.

My plans are not God's plans. I have burned down my self-wrought hope.

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

2 Corinthians 4:16-18

No Longer An eBay Virgin

2006-06-15T15:30:00.000-07:00

I have made my first purchase on eBay.

I won the auction this morning, and am now the proud owner of a fuchsia and orange fringe dance costume.

eBay is not without its share of heartache, though. Last week I bid on a costume and lost with 20 seconds to go in the auction. I almost fell out of my chair. Now I am not so naive...

Needless to say, I'll be checking the mail with increased frequency for awhile.

I Live in a Desert

2006-06-10T12:27:00.000-07:00

Tonight me and my dad and my sister were coming home from a movie, and there was a rattlesnake curled up by our front door.

A rattlesnake, people.

I live in suburbia, but I really live in a desert.

I Thought I Was Done With the Whole Checking Out Thing

2006-06-07T18:51:00.000-07:00

I just checked out of my classroom a few hours ago. It's much like checking out of your dorm room. Everything feels permanent and you can't believe you have to move it. Also, there is always the crunch because you still have to use the room. Luckily, in the world of teaching you have everything in nice neat containers, plus you get to keep most of your stuff in the room. It's just a matter of moving things off of the floor, and putting butcher paper on the shelves to block the dust.

I'm tired too.

I haven't spent much time thinking about what I'm going to do this summer. I have been thinking about getting a part time job, or something...not sure yet. I also have some projects I'd like to work on...

This is the boringest post ever. Oh well.

Thanks for reading.

School's Out for Summer (Rock, Rock On)

2006-05-28T22:06:00.000-07:00

There are 7 days of my first year of teaching left.

I'm excited for the next school year, but when I see those kindergarteners walking around I worry that I'm going to have a room full of them next year. They are so young! It's hard to believe my group started out like that!

Now, they are so grown up. When we talk about second grade, they aren't scared, they are ready. I hope they do well, and I hope the second grade teachers don't think, "Oh, this one had Armijo, they don't know anything." That sounds more mean to myself than I mean it, but still...

I feel like I know a little bit of what parenting is like. You worry if you did enough and you are convinced you didn't.

We did a lot of testing (Writing, Reading, Math), and after looking at the results, I feel I could have done better. But next year's kids will be the beneficiaries, and not this year's.

I've done my best.

Home

2006-03-10T22:12:00.002-07:00

Well, I've been home from Europe for over a week now, and let me just say that I love America.

Traveling in Europe was great, and I've wanted to do it since I was, like, born, but I was born in America, and it is great to be home!

I was submerged, well, okay, dipped into three different cultures in ten days. It was enough to keep me off balance for my whole trip. I was always just a little uncomfortable. I think this was probably a good thing.

It was absolutely great to see my dear friend Mary Ann. She was a great person to travel with, and versed in one of the cultures I was in. That was especially helpful. It was also good to see where Mary Ann lives and works. I also got to meet some of her students. They thought we sounded like movie stars. And I felt a bit like a celebrity over there, because if there is one thing I learned (and was pleasantly surprised by), it is that the French love Americans.

I got to see the Eiffel Tower, and eat on it in a fancy restaurant (I ate roasted rooster, yum!), I saw the Louvre and the Arc de Triomphe. I got to shop and eat bagettes. It was good times.

In London, I got to hear my all time favorite accent. I got to stay at an English Bed and Breakfast run by the most jolly man I've ever met. I got to dance the night away in a club called Los Locos. And it turns out the American accent is very exciting over there. Well, at least to twenty something British men in bars/night clubs. I rode a double decker bus. I had a full English breakfast, complete with yummy tea (I didn't even have to put sugar in it). I got to see Notting Hill and eat in the cutest restaurant called The Crazy Dazy Cafe. It was a mommy friendly place as it served organic baby food. But do not be dismayed, it also served fish and chips and quiche and chips (which is what I ate). Everything comes with chips! Which, as you know means french fries, and if you know me, you know I love fries.

In Spain, I stayed at a hotel 100 yards from the sea. I tried (and failed horribly) to speak with a Castilian Spanish accent. I got very sick and spent an entire day in said hotel with a fever, but also with my dear friend Mary Ann.

I am glad to be home. I missed my family. Besides things are starting to get really exciting around here. For those of you who have made it this far in my post. I've started to go to a different church down here in Arizona. It is exactly what I needed. I'm starting to meet new people and get a little more plugged in. I'm excited to see how this new chapter will unfold.

Thanks for reading. Peace out.

Bon Voyage

2006-03-10T22:12:00.001-07:00

Well, I'm off to France, Spain and London for a few days...

I'll talk to you all when I get back.

I'll also make sure to eat a bagette for you...

Delayed Thoughts on Valentine's Day

2006-02-17T22:46:00.000-07:00

Valentines Day 2006.

My Valentine's Day was not romantic, but sweet.

I spent the day with 20 blossoming first graders who showered each other with valentines and candy.

Memorable moments from the day:

~After observing the heightened excitement in the room first thing in the morning, I thought it wise to have a little talk with the kiddos. Me: What is today? Kids: Valentine's Day!!! Me: So it's not go crazy day? Kids: No. Me: Oh good. So we're going to have a normal day with a party at the end. Kids: A Party?! Me: Well I hope so, wouldn't that be fun? Kids: Yes!! Me: Then let's do good work today, and help each other keep that party because it is not go crazy day.

Go Crazy Day? Sounds like Miss Armijo is desperate to not have total anarchy fueled by candy and Batman Valentines.

~Kids delivering valentines is a sight to behold. It can really unite a classroom because, of course, the rule is you have to bring valentines for everybody. Their little faces just sparkle each time someone would add a valentine to their bag. They didn't even seem to care about the candy, they just wanted the valentines.

~A page from a daily calendar saying that though Valentine's Day is a romantic holiday, and it would seem that spouses and significant others would be the focus of valentines day, that honor actually goes to teachers. And is it any wonder when you are very nearly the center of 20 children's universe?

In my college years for valentine's I would often find myself on a group date, or not really doing much of anything. I figured I just had to bide my time and wait for someone to sweep me off my feet with romance, love, candy, sweet notes, and the like. I will wait for the grown up romance, but for now seeing my kids' little cups running over with sincere affection for each other and myself was enough to keep me hanging on.

There are days when I am tired and I feel like I can't do a single thing more for those kids. Then there are days when we transcend the harriedness and the tiresomeness together, and from that vantage point I get to see these kids perhaps the way God sees them. As blessings. They are so pure of heart and so true to their real selves. And I realize I am in an enviable position. I can't think of a single other profession where one has the opportunity daily to interact with people who are real and fresh and wide-eyed and love readily and with abandon.

Happy Valentine's Day to the kids in Room 703!

¡Viva la France!

2006-01-20T21:57:00.000-07:00

I just bought a plane ticket to France! I will be visiting Mary Ann over my school's spring break! I am getting a passport!

City of Lights here I come.

I'm going to drink wine and eat bagettes and cheese (fromage), and see a part of the world I've never seen before!

Mary Ann here I come.

A Milestone

2005-12-26T22:21:00.000-07:00

I bought a car today.

A 2004 Kia Spectra.

Have I officially crossed the threshold to adulthood?

I'll let you know...

It Came Upon the Midnight Clear

2005-12-24T21:44:00.000-07:00

And ye, beneath life's crushing load,
Whose forms are bending low,
Who toil along the climbing way
With painful steps and slow,
Look now! For glad and golden hours
Come swiftly on the wing
O rest beside the weary road
And hear the angels sing.

For, lo, the days are hastening on,
By prophet seen of old,
When wit the ever circling years
Shall come the time foretold
When the new heav'n and earth shall own
The Prince of Peace, their King
And all the world give back the song
Which now the angels sing.

I Want You All to Know

2005-12-23T23:24:00.000-07:00

I have lived in Phoenix, Arizona for one year and one day.

I have been a graduate of the University of Nebraska-Lincoln for one year and five days.

I have been blogging for one year to the day.

Upcoming anniversaries: one year Ballroom Dancing (January 6th)

Random Blog Following

2005-12-22T11:04:00.000-07:00

I don't even remember how I discovered this blog. I think someone recommended it on theirs. But this person is a theology student and has many deep ruminations on life and the Lord. He has posted some wonderful quotes about Jesus as he anticipates being finished with exams. I thought them worth reading, but I felt like a bit of a fraud just posting them on my blog since I've never read from any of the men he quotes. Perhaps I should start...

It Takes Two...

2005-12-17T15:54:00.000-07:00

This is a picture of my instructor Mychael and I doing the tango. My sister made the dress for me. It was absolutely perfect.

Mychael and I in a shadow position.

Yay Ballroom Dancing!

Conversations About God

2005-12-15T17:43:00.000-07:00

In my classroom while transitioning from working at desks to sitting at the front of the room:

A Boy (with a really cute Spanish name that I won't use), to me: The devil's not real.

Me: Actually, he is.

Same boy in surprise (and maybe a twinge of fear): He is?!?

Me: Yes, he is, but you don't have to worry because I know someone else who is.

Boy: I know! God!

Me: That's right. And He will protect you.

Girl who overheard conversation: How do you know about God?

Me: I just have learned about Him.

Girl: I go to church.

Me: I know you do. (To group) Okay kids lets get settled.

Those kids.

Thanksgiving

2005-11-22T23:32:00.000-07:00

I am thankful for:

1. The lovingkindness of my Lord
2. Family
3. Visitors
4. First graders who remember who's the boss
5. The cutest school pictures of said first graders
6. Great emails from friends
7. Clean closests (I have one now)

Profile Photo

2005-11-12T16:41:00.000-07:00

Okay, all you people with blogs more advanced than mine:

How do you put a picture in the profile spot?

Comment below to help a fellow blogger out.

Karoke, Conferences, Creation

2005-11-12T13:55:00.000-07:00

Hey everybody...everybody...everybody...

Is anybody there...there...there?

I know I haven't posted in a while, but if you're still checking up on me here's an update for you.

Last weekend we had what's called a Medal Ball Graduation at the dance studio. That means we get recognized for the dances we've been working on, and have a little "graduation ceremony" to show we are moving onto the next levels in our dances. I graduated from Associate Bronze Tango. So anyways, we danced at the studio and then went out to dinner at this awesome restaurant and had more dancing. I sat at a table with another girl Christine. We talked the entire time, and I had a chance to share a small part of my testimony, so I'm hoping sometime I'm able to follow up a little bit.

After all this excitement Christine and some other people convinced me to go to a karoke bar with them. We were all a little overdressed coming from a dance party, but one of the ladies knew the manager, so it was all good. I sang a few songs. I am no longer a karoke virgin. I danced a Samba in the middle of the bar, that was also very fun.

Also, this week I had parent teacher conferences, and most were in Spanish. After the initial few with a translator, I conducted them by myself in Spanish! Yay for getting to use the foreign language I studied for so long! It was so exhausting! By lunch time I was completely drained and starving. I ate my own lunch, which consisted of a peanut butter sandwich, grapes and yogurt. Then someone offered me a chicken thigh, so I ate that. Then some other first grade teachers went to McDonald's and brought me back Biggie Fries, and I ate those too. Then I was full. Talking in another language really uses a lot of energy! And calories (hopefully)!

Conferences were a very positive experience. Many of my families are really interested in helping their kids, so they came seeking my advice about what to do at home to help them. This is always encouraging as a teacher.

Also, in Bible study we are studying Genesis. The origin of the world and all its peoples is a fascinating thing to study. Especially from God's perspective. His promises to those he loves, his care, his planning are all present in the first 9 chapters of the whole Bible. Truly He is worthy of our praise! He is the Mastermind of the universe, and keeps it running. He is the Great Shepherd, Comforter and Sacrifice, and to discover all this in the first book in the Bible gives so much meaning to the rest of it.

Remember Those Chain E-mails? Now They're For Blogs!

2005-10-12T22:20:00.000-07:00

10 Years Ago: I was 13 and a freshman at a private Catholic school called V.J. and Angela Skutt Catholic High School. Catchy name. I wore a plaid skirt, and got demerits for things like being late to class and chewing gum. I was on the swim team, and swam in the fastest lane. I had a crush on a boy named Josh Hartnett (not the actor, but still really cute). My best friend was Melissa Hines. I went to homecoming in a velvet jumper because I didn't know what homecoming was. I started out as an alto in the high school choir because the teacher thought I had a lovely, dark quality in my voice, but I slowly got moved to second soprano, and then to first soprano (which was what I had wanted to sing all along, you know, because I'm a diva, and all first sopranos are divas). I went to the Sweethearts dance with a junior nicknamed Beavis. He asked me out, I felt sick (probably from the Chinese we'd had before the dance), I called my parents and because Beavis didn't have his license yet they took both of us home. A bit awkward.

5 Years Ago: I was 18 and a senior at Millard North High School. I was on the swim team, and swam in the distance lane with 5 boys. My best friend was Melissa Hines, but our relationship was about to get some tears (and then patches) in it. I briefly dated a sophomore in a moment of blinding brilliance. I started contemplating life after high school, and was anxious to see what it was like. I met the first boy (and hopefully the last), who would break my heart. I went to prom with a total hottie to forget the boy who broke my heart. I discovered some new friends on the swim team. I decided to go to the University of Nebraska-Lincoln because when I walked on campus it just felt right.

1 Year Ago: I was 22 and finishing up my first two months of student teaching. I was busy, but life was still simple. My parents moved to Arizona. I lived in a single dorm room in Pound Hall. Life was rich and abundant and good.

Yesterday: I woke up at my Grandma's house. Ate poached eggs and toast for breakfast. Got ready for the day, and went to my other Grandparent's house. Helped prepare a HUGE dinner (two chickens, green beans, baked potatos, salad, tortillas), ate said huge dinner, started to wash piles of dishes (there weren't even piles like this at Love Hall), then had to run to a neighbor's house to see if they'd turned off their oven (when a person lives in the country, they get to check their neighbor's houses for things like that because their neighbors leave their doors unlocked even when they leave). Finished washing dishes. Watched some TV, then went out to the front room and listened to my Grandma talk (because that's what you do when you are with her, she's really very funny and switches back and forth between English and Spanish). Got ready for bed, and slept on the couch in a gigantic red nightshirt of my Grandma's under many blankets. It was cold in New Mexico. 58 degrees. I live in Arizona. 'Nuff said.

5 Snacks I Enjoy: cheese and crackers, popcorn, fruit, Munchies (the snack with cheetos, doritos, sun chips and pretzels), anything chocolate.

5 Songs I Know All The Words To: Georgia Rain (Trisha Yearwood), Piano Man (Billy Joel), Barbara Allen (EmmyLou Harris), Farewell (Rosie Thomas), River God (Nichole Nordeman).

5 Things I'd Do With 100 Million Dollars: Put it in the bank to collect interest. Start teaching ballroom dancing at Arthur Murray. Start competing professionally in ballroom dancing. Buy a house. Buy a car.

5 Places I'd Run Away To: A tropical island (the kind with the huts and nothing else), France, Nebraska, Costa Rica, England, Italy/Greece (somewhere Mediterranian)

5 Things I'd Never Wear: belly shirts, ultra-low rise pants, certain ballroom dancing costumes, false eyelashes (just kidding Tom), superfluous piercings.

5 Favorite TV Shows: Grey's Anatomy, Commander in Chief, So You Think You Can Dance?, Related, Everwood.

5 Biggest Joys: sweet fellowship, getting to know the Lord, dancing, making new friends, seeing old friends.

5 Favorite Toys: Anything to do with technology. right now I'm really excited about wireless internet.

5 people to TAG (pass this on to): All my people are taken, so the buck stops here folks.

What I've Been Up To

2005-09-17T21:59:00.000-07:00

Where to begin? I'll start from the current time and go backwards.

It is almost 10 o'clock here in Arizona, and I've been avoiding planning for school all day. I had a good excuse this afternoon, but this evening I did not.

This afternoon I was in the last leg of a two-day dance competition. Friday I debuted my first dance routine. It was a Paso Doble/Samba medley, and it rocked! I had so much fun working on the routine and performing it. It was also fun to watch other people's routines as well. This afternoon we had freestyles, which is where you just dance for two minute bursts and are judged on technique. I don't know my overall score, but I scored a 98 out of 100 on my routine! Even without false eyelashes! It's times like these that make me want to leave everything behind and become a professional ballroom dancer. But alas, reality calls.

Before this weekend I was teaching, and I will just say, it is hard. There is so much I've been made accountable for, and I wonder if I'm truly teaching these kids what they really need to know. All I can do is try my best, so I keep clinging to that.

I've been avoiding planning because it is a challenge to work so hard on something and prepare it for the kids, and have it be a complete flop. Other times, stuff you don't plan very well, the kids love and want to do all the time. In teaching, you learn to let a lot of stuff roll off your back.

Anyway, that is all for now.

Halfway Between Here and There

2005-09-04T11:51:00.000-07:00

I have a nice long weekend break, which is really refreshing. I'm sure most of you out there do too. My family and I are going up to Prescott tomorrow for a bit of sight seeing, which is good because we don't get out much. We are packing a lunch because invariably we are half way to somewhere really cool, and we get hungry and have to stop for food. Then my dad just turns us around and we go home. So, we are really going to Prescott tomorrow instead of just the McDonald's between here and there.

That is about all I have to say for now. Have a good break everyone!

The Big 2-3

2005-08-15T21:14:00.000-07:00

Hey all, just thought I'd let you know...it's my birthday tomorrow. I'll be 23.

Me and the kiddos are going to have a bit of a celebration with Graham Sticks! Yum, yum!

Brown Penny

2005-08-14T17:49:00.000-07:00

I just heard this poem in a movie, and thought it was beautiful and simple, and profound and...

I whispered, 'I am too young,'
And then, 'I am old enough';
Wherefore I threw a penny
To find out if I might love.
'Go and love, go and love, young man,
If the lady be young and fair.'
Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny,
I am looped in the loops of her hair.
O love is the crooked thing,
There is nobody wise enough
To find out all that is in it,
For he would be thinking of love
Till the stars had run away
And the shadows eaten the moon.
Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny,
One cannot begin it too soon.

~William Butler Yeats~

I'm a Survivor

2005-08-06T14:31:00.000-07:00

Well, I have survived the first week of classes. I am actually glad to say I more than survived. I actually felt like a real teacher! It felt so natural to be in my room with the kids. I think I was actually able to implement some good routines and management.

On the docket for next week: Testing!

I will be administering tests for my students to see where they are in acquring the skills necessary for reading. The pre-reading and preliminary reading skills, if you will. So, that will be good times. Of course, I'll be working one-on-one with the students, so this will cause an overwhelming urge in the other students to:
1. Show me their work
2. Ask for a drink
3. Ask to use the restroom
4. Show me injuries real or imagined
5. Tell me interesting facts about family, friends and other things they find completely relevevant.

To nip this problem in the bud, I will be establishing the B reasons (stolen from another teacher, which is perfectly acceptable in the educational world). You may only approach the teacher if you have need of or are doing the following:
1. Bathroom
2. Bleeding
3. Barfing

Only if you need or are doing one of these three things, may you interrupt the teacher and student being tested.

Cool huh?

Anywho, that's all for now.

Big Week

2005-07-25T19:57:00.000-07:00

Okay all you party people, here is a morsel for you.

This is the last week of our training before school starts August 1st. If you are not sure how close that really is, I'll tell you. It's this coming Monday. I just got into my classroom for the first time today, and it is bare. I put up some butcher paper for color and such, but honestly, I didn't really accomplish much today. It is interesting how much of room layout depends on the activities you will be doing in said room. And when you don't have your books or curriculum, you don't know the activities, which means you don't really know how your room will work. In the end, it's more like a machine than a classroom. A well-oiled machine.

Also, we are moving into our house this week, so that is exciting but hot and stressful. I'll be glad when we are all settled, and when there is water in our pool. Yeah, we have a pool.

I think that is enough for now. Feel free to leave a comment about how jealous you are about my pool. Or about teaching 25 first graders...

Training and Some Thoughts

2005-07-19T15:11:00.000-07:00

Just a quick post to let you all know how things are:

I've just finished the second day of two weeks of training for my teaching job. I've been given more information than I could ever hope to remember, but I know as time goes by, knowing what to do will become more second nature.

I've been encouraged by the teachers I've met. They are warm and caring. The district continues to impress me with their care and concern for the students and families. The families impress me with their selflessness as they pass bond after bond so we can have some extra money to improve schools and their children's education.

In this district an education is a matter of continuing a life in poverty, and having a better life. The families in this community know this, and do whatever they can to provide for their children. It is very heartwarming.

Everyday it is more apparent that there is a very human element in this district. The people I have talked to and listened to are for creating and contributing to young kids so that they might become functioning members of society. Of course there are prescribed standards to be met, but that is sort of an unspoken understanding in this district. They are only a means to an end of improving student's lives. It is a very clear vision. And when people at the head of the district have that vision, it filters down to everyone under them.

Being Bilingual

2005-07-11T17:45:00.000-07:00

I stopped by my school today. My principal let me pick out my classroom! I picked one that faces this beautiful, shady grassy knoll. It used to be a kindergarten room, so it has it's own bathroom. That should be convenient. Hopefully, I'll be able to post some pictures soon of getting my room ready!

Something else to consider:
My mom and sister came to the school with me, and my mom mentioned that my Spanish would probably be getting a lot better in this environment. My principal said that it probably would in my interactions with the parents. He also said it is against the law to use Spanish to deliver instruction in Arizona. The kids can use it when they interact with each other, but I cannot. I can use if for clarification, but not for instruction. Can you imagine little first graders talking with each other in Spanish in my classroom? It will be sooo cute, but also a bit of trial by fire because until I can get up to par, I may be missing out on vital communications. Okay, so here's the part to consider. I've often wondered if I would ever be in a place where I actually had to use my Spanish. I've also thought what a waste it was to have invested so much time into classes and the like, if I was never going to use it. But I never could imagine myself in a setting where I would get to use it. But here I am. Isn't it amazing what the Lord brings full circle in our lives? I am in a place where I will get to and have to use conversational Spanish with native speakers! What a joy!

Es todo mis queridos.

School Days, School Days...

2005-07-02T13:38:00.000-07:00

I just thought I'd let you all know real quick that I have chosen a school.

Smith School is where I will be teaching 1st grade for the coming year! I'm so excited. The reason I chose the school was because of the principal. I just felt able to communicate with him, and that we felt the same way about teaching.

The population of the school is mostly Hispanic, so that will be fun and interesting. The students wear uniforms so that will be too cute!

I also met one of the first grade teachers during my interview, and she was really sweet. It will be nice to have a familiar face on my team.

So, there you have it.

In these next few weeks I'm going to start moving things into my room and coming up with my classroom rules and discipline plan.

I'm really excited to teach for this district, they have a lot of support built into their schools for new teachers, and are well funded.

That's the news on my end. I'll catch you all on the flip side.

Praise the Lord and Hallelujah!

2005-06-27T21:11:00.000-07:00

Well folks, today I had a screening interview with Glendale Elementary School District. From my previous experience I knew that this was just a preliminary step to the process, and it would take a principal's recommendation for the district to hire me.

The screening interview went really well (much better than the one I'd done before). I felt my answers were better and more thorough. The man who was interviewing me was also more personable, so I felt more at ease in discussing my thoughts on teaching. After the interview he took me into the assistant superintendent's office, and introduced us. I didn't really know what I was doing in there, he had mentioned setting up interviews with principals, but to be honest I wasn't expecting much. As soon as I was introduced to the superintendent we sat down and she said, "Well Rachel, your screening interview went so well that we would like to offer you a contract right now." I was dumbstruck. The normal procedure is like I said before, the principals make the hiring recommendation. For a district to offer me a contract means they want me in their district so badly they don't want to wait on a principal to hire me.

So, I took the contract. I am now going to be a teacher for Glendale Elementary School District! My first day is July 18th and it's some sort of staff development or training. And school starts August 1st! AUGUST 1st!

I think I'm going to barf.

Okay, but it gets better. Before I'd even walked out of the district office, a principal was calling me and leaving a message on my cell phone that he wanted to set up an interview. I listened to the message and called my dad to tell him the exciting news. While I was on the phone with my dad another principal called and left a message about an interview. By 11:30 this morning I had two interviews set up. While I stopped and had a quick lunch break I got another call and set up another interview. So, by the end of the day I'd had four interviews, and here's the clincher: all four offered me positions in their schools. (Here would be a good time to ask for your prayers that the Lord would lead me to the right school, where I would have support and be able to play an integral part in where the school is going, and be a witness to Him if even in my teaching)

Also, later this evening we were out celebrating (and my uncle was in town on business, so we went out to dinner with him), and I got another phone call from a principal for an interview tomorrow.

Up until last week I had lost all hope I would ever be a teacher. I had started thinking preliminarily about finding a job that had a benefit package so I'd at least have insurance. I mean, it was bad. Doesn't it just go to show you how God provides? And blesses? I mean here I was with no prospects, and suddenly I have schools vying to have me, begging me to choose them. And I am not exaggerating. Two of the principals today begged me to consider their school.

How He richly blesses! What abundance! What undeserved provision! Praise the Lord! Hallelujah!

Thoughts on Home

2005-06-19T21:29:00.000-07:00

I know it has been far too long. I am sorry to say I succumbed to the pressures of blogging. That is, I was so concerned with posting something worth writing about (or worth reading for that matter) that rather than take the time to write about the little things or the nothings (and believe me there have been a lot of those), I opted to write about nothing at all. So this next blog is for you my faithful readers who check out this space everyday, and everyday for a month have seen no changes.

I must start with some thoughts on visiting home. Visiting home. That phrase tastes bittersweet if you let it roll around in your mouth for a while. That is what I was acutely aware of on my trip to Nebraska for Merry’s wedding (which was also a good excuse to see old friends).

I stayed with Mary Ann, which was a huge blessing because the Lord made us in such a way that we have very similar ideas of how we like to spend our free time. We took walks and naps. We went to church and out to eat. We watched movies and danced. I got to see old friends and catch up (a little). The pace of the four days I spent in Nebraska was slow and easy. It was refreshing to say the least. A lazy float down a clear river of unhurried fellowship. Thank you Mary Ann for your incredible hospitality. What a biblical picture of taking someone in and making a space for them in your home, and sharing what you have. Thank you also to Michaela and Kaitlyn for letting me invade your home. It was a special treat to see you both again.

Lauren, I enjoyed our few hours we spent together just talking. Thank you for being honest with me about your thoughts on life after college. I pray you will find your place and purpose in the world as you are finding God’s will for your life.

Jenny, ni how ma? It was great to see you again, and just fresh from your trip to East Asia. Thank you for sharing about your trip and about what you learned.

Merry, congrats on your nuptials. I look forward to walking with you in this new stage of your life.

To all the others I ran into while I was there: Phil, Justin, Crystal, Latrice, Amy C., Amy H., et. al. It was a blessing to see your familiar faces, and to be welcomed back for even a short time.

This is what it is to visit the place you instinctively call home. You come and see all the familiar sights (downtown Lincoln! Zion! 11th and H!), sounds (the train! Insects! Rain!), and faces. You come thinking to yourself “this is the place I miss, where my richest memories are, where my heart is” but you are surprised to find a fishhook in your heart tugging on you. Tugging you back to the place where you are making your life now. It is a strange duality to have your heart in two places.

Perhaps not living in the place I would call home (or not being able to call it home anymore), and living in a place I don’t call home (but merely Phoenix), can be a way to get familiar with the idea that nowhere on this earth is my home. No matter where I feel most settled, and most in tune with the pace and style of life, I will never be truly home, until I am in my heavenly home. I must confess I do not entertain thoughts such as these very often.

Yes, Lauren, it is so easy to let life be this: wake up in the morning and go to work and come home and do it all again tomorrow. We forget to live with all of ourselves. I have been so busy surviving, I haven’t been pondering my Home, and Who awaits me there. As with many things in life, now is a good time to start.

Short and Sweet

2005-05-18T17:27:00.000-07:00

It certainly has been awhile, no?

Here is just a little update on my life:

Last Thursday I had a screening interview with Peoria Unified School District, which is one of the best school districts in Phoenix. My application has been released to about five schools, and now it is up to the principals of those schools to call me if they are interested. Please pray that I would be patient and trust the Lord's timing because I could be waiting to hear back from these schools until next school year. It is hard to know if I am waiting for nothing (as in the schools aren't interested) or if the principals are taking time to fill their positions.

Other than that, I am just counting the days until I am coming up to Nebraska in June.

FYI

2005-05-06T16:25:00.000-07:00

I know this is a few weeks away but, I'm going up to Nebraska on June 10th for Merry's wedding.

Hope to see some of you while I'm up there!

Truth

2005-04-24T20:53:00.000-07:00

Something I’ve been experiencing lately is the difference between my emotions and what is actually true. Emotions are wily things that try to convince you that what you feel is the reality around you. Sometimes that simply isn’t true.

Now before any of you worry too much about me cutting off my emotions and bottling my feelings, I’d like to say one thing. There was a point in my life (I’d say, up until three years ago) when I didn’t really experience any feeling. I was quite numb and useless in many situations where emotions are completely relevant. Often times I would find myself asking what a normal person would be feeling and how they would react because I knew my own natural response was devoid of any human feeling.

I began to realize that being emotionally barren wasn’t normal and started to evaluate what could have caused this response of shutting down my emotions. After reflection and prayer I was able to root out the source of the problem. At some point in my life it had been communicated to me that emotions were a sign of weakness, and if you showed them any point you were trying to make was made invalid. In other words, emotions weren’t worth much, and in order to have value I needed to stop having them. So, I did.

After discovering the root of my problem, I started praying that God would open up that part of me again, that I would have access to those things which make being human so achingly unique and special. Gradually, (so gradually that I did not even notice when it began to happen) God gave me back my emotions. This was a significant event in my life as it unfolded because it enabled me to feel the joy and the pain of others. It allowed me to mourn with them and rejoice with them. I think this made me a better friend and follower of Christ.

So, friends, to get back to the beginning of this entry: sometimes there is a difference between my emotions and what is actually true. Lately this has come in the form of my relationships with men. Or one man in particular. The man I shared the gospel with, which led him to surrender His life to the loving Lordship of Christ. This situation was very foreign to me because in college I rarely shared the gospel in this coffee-shop sort of way. Hopefully I was living it out daily for people to see, but as for sitting down with someone to purposefully show them the road that God is calling them down, that was new. So was sharing it with a guy.

In the beginning God’s love was coming through me to him, and so my own emotions were uninvolved. Then as our relationship progressed, as they tend to do, my heart did become involved. This man had offered me the very thing my heart desires. A relationship that would eventually end in marriage. Of course, he never came out and proposed, but he was interested in a committed relationship, and said so. This progression was so gradual, I didn’t even notice it, and before I could do anything, it was too late. I had come to care very much for this person, and I was riding the emotional roller coaster to prove it.

I think the roller coaster I was on was particularly extreme with its ups and downs because intermittent with the feelings was the truth. The truth that this was a new Christian who deserved a chance to learn to stand in his faith. The truth that in the deepest part of my heart I knew that I wanted more than this; I wanted a man who could lead me, who could shepherd me in my spiritual life, who could transcend humanness and be Christ to me. And the truth was and is I am willing to wait for this. Despite my emotions telling me to take this opportunity because it felt good, my very soul still desired God’s best, and that is what kept me standing firm in my resolve not to enter into a dating relationship with this man: the truth.

I think God also saw me succumbing to the emotions and caused a situation to happen that has taken them out of the equation. This man and I are still friends, so you needn’t worry about that, but I praise the Lord that He rescued me from the sea I was drowning in by crashing me against the Rock that He is.

There have been many other feelings that I’ve had that aren’t true. The feelings that I am alone and that nobody knows me are prevalent. I am learning to let God speak to those feelings, and some days I am better at it than others, but that is the reality of living in the truth. It is the daily, hourly decisions I make to trust God’s character and His word over what I am feeling.

So as not to discount the validity of emotion I feel the need to say that there have definitely been times too when what I am feeling is true, but here are a few questions I’ve been pondering.

If you didn’t feel this way (whether happy or sad) would you still praise God?

Are you praising God because of how you feel or because of who He is?

Learning to praise God through the sadness or loneliness has been one of the richest experiences of my Christian life. Experiencing this biblical truth in my life fills my soul beyond what I could have imagined for myself. And it is then that I realize I am experiencing contentment. The real kind that Paul spoke of when he was in prison. Being able to praise God even when it is hard or lonely has to be one of the biggest blessings we as Christians have. This does not mean putting on a happy face, but rather acknowledging that God is good whether life is treating us meanly or whether we are in a time of great blessing. And that, my friends, is the truth.

Praise the Lord.
Praise O servants of the Lord, praise the name of the Lord. Let the name of the Lord be praised both now and forevermore. From the rising of the sun to the place where it sets, the name of the Lord is to be praised.
The Lord is exalted over all the nations, his glory above the heavens. Who is like the Lord our God, the One who sits enthroned on high, who stoops down to look on the heavens and the earth?
He raises the poor from the dust and lifts the needy from the ash heap; he seats them with princes, and the princes of their people. He settles the barren woman in her home as a happy mother of children.
Praise the Lord.

Psalm 113

First Visitor

2005-04-07T13:53:00.000-07:00

Just a bit of exciting news. Jenny is coming to visit me tomorrow. By the time I get off work she will be here! I am excited, and I don't know what I will do when I see her. Probably turn into a big puddle.

This is a comparatively short blog compared to my last one. The number of comments makes it apparent that most people didn't make it to the end. It's a good, no, awesome, story about God's love and sovreignty and the His call on someone's life. Ya'll should read it.

Okay, I'm done guilt tripping.

Warning! Extremely Long Blog Follows!

2005-04-03T20:21:00.000-07:00

I am sorry it has been so long. As I add more and more to my life (in this case a job), it gets harder and harder to sit down and post something. But here I am on a Sunday evening with some time to spare so I’m taking this time to inform you of what’s been going on down here in the Valley of the Sun.

About a month ago, I had an inconsequential conversation with a guy from work. He worked back in the plant but he had to take care of some paperwork in the office. So, I was helping send a fax and we were talking, and in the course of things he found out I live in Peoria, and it turns out he lives there too. Meanwhile, I faxed his paperwork three times because I wasn’t sure if it went through or not. So, that is about how significant the conversation was. Then about two weeks ago I ran into him again in the lunchroom on my lunch break. He works the first shift from 5 am to 1 pm, so he was just getting off work when I was eating lunch. We had another insignificant conversation about the flavor of yogurt I was eating, and whether or not I’d gone to any of the nightspots in Peoria. When he found out I hadn’t he made the comment that I didn’t get out much. To which I replied, “I do get out, just not to Wet Willy’s!” And with as much indignation as I could muster. Because I’m tired of being conceived as the naïve, innocent, good girl who is overly protected by her family, which I am well aware I am in danger of being, but I just don’t like being judged for it. So, after he saw that little flash he asked what I did do to get out. I told him that I had taken up ballroom dancing knowing full well that this would only perpetuate the stereotype of the good-girl/princess. But by now he was past teasing me for my lack of social life, and was floored by the ballroom dancing admission. But all in all, an insignificant conversation. About an hour after lunch, I’m back in the reception office with my headset on and the phone rings, and for some strange reason I answer it wrong and say, “Good Morning, ~insert company name here~”, but it was well into the afternoon. I was so busy chuckling to myself about this slip I hardly noticed the person at the other end of the phone. But it was the guy.

A not so insignificant conversation ensued about how he liked talking to me because he could tell I was different, and would I be comfortable talking outside of work? After several moments of hemming and hawing, and helping an actual person with their application, I managed to say that he could call me if he wanted and gave him my number. The next day he called and invited me to a baseball game because he had the day off owing to Good Friday, not knowing us office people had to go into work. So, I called him back over my lunch hour, and after some good conversation in which I started my testimony, but couldn’t finish it because of the fact I was driving to Subway and I was on my cell phone, he asked to see me that night. So, right then and there I asked him what he wanted out of this because I don’t date casually, and I didn’t want him to get his hopes up. He explained that he was hoping for potential at the very least and was tired of dating casually. So, I agreed to meet him with the intention of finishing my testimony.

We met at Applebee’s (a nice public place), and right after we were seated, he asked me to finish telling my testimony. So, I started by asking him what he thought about God. He told me he believed in God, and grew up going to church, and wanted to raise a family going to church, but he hadn’t been doing much in that direction for a while. So, I told him my testimony about God. How I was a good girl in high school, with lists of rules for myself to adhere to so I could gain heaven. How I thought I had everything I needed with family, friends and swimming. How all that was altered my freshman year of college, when all I had that kept me full, and blinded to the truth of my emptiness was stripped from me, and I was so alone I could finally hear the quiet voice of God calling to me. And how I finally answered that call. And so, I was finally able to explain to him that the reason I didn’t date causally is because of what the Lord calls me to in my life. That when I am with someone it is for the purpose of glorifying God, and emulating Christ and His church. To all this he said that I was an answer to prayer and that he had ceased to believe that people like me existed.

He started telling me about his life, and through his story I could see all the wounds he had collected, and how a life of partying was what he was doing to cope. But, he said that he wanted what I have. To be living for the Lord.

Since this conversation, I have learned that he was highly churched. I mean to the point of knowing all of the Christian lingo, but he never had any sort of accountability, and so he continued to live life out of his wounds. Well, this past Wednesday I met with him at Barnes and Noble, and talked with him about entering into new life. He had tons of questions about what that would look like, and I could only answer a few because you never know what God will do in your life. Anyway, by the end of the night I prayed with him, and he either recommitted his life to Christ or committed his life to Christ for the first time. Praise the Lord! He has started reading his Bible and is in the gospel of John. He went to church this Sunday, and wants to get involved in one of their men’s groups. Praise the Lord!

If you have made it this far, then I’m going to ask you to pray that he would continue to grow in the Lord and really set down roots. Pray that he would meet really godly men that will run alongside him, and can bring him closer to the Lord so that he can deal with his wounds and his past in light of what the Lord has to say about them.

All through this extremely exciting situation I have been able to simply be a vessel of God’s love to this man who didn’t believe God could love him or change him. It has been a great miracle to witness! Praise the Lord!

Good Things

2005-03-16T18:42:00.000-07:00

These are just some things from my quiet time book that I liked:

Faith by its very nature must be tried, and the real trial of faith is not that we find it difficult to trust God, but that God's character has to be cleared in our own minds. Faith in its actual working out has to go through spells of unsyllabled isolation. Never confound the trial of faith with the ordinary discipline of life, much that we call the trial of faith is the inevitable result of being alive. Faith in the Bible is faith in God against everything that contradicts Him--I will remain true to God's character whatever He may do. Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him--this is the most sublime utterance of faith in the whole Bible.

Oswald Chambers in My Utmost for His Highest

When God wants to drill a man,
and thrill a man,
and skill a man
to play the noblest part;
when He yearns with all His heart
to create so great and bold a man
that all the world shall be amazed,
watch His methods, watch His ways!
How He ruthlessly perfects
Whom He royally elects!
How He hammers him and hurts him,
And with mighty blows converts him
Into trial shapes of clay which
Only God understands;
While his tortured heart is crying
And he lifts beseeching hands!
How he bends but never breaks
When his good He undertakes;
How He uses whom He chooses,
And with every purpose fuses him;
By every act induces him
To try his splendor out--
God knows what He's about.

Author Unknown

God's Grace for a Woman of Folly

2005-03-10T16:50:00.000-07:00

I've been a little worried about finances as of late because of my risky decision to pay for ballroom dancing lessons without any funds coming in. Add to that the pressure of a father who thinks you are wasting your money and ruining your credit only a few months out of college, and bring on the panic. Have I made an unwise decision? Or is this the best time in my life to get started since I have no other time or monetary commitments? I really had to force myself to calm down enough to ask God to provide for me through Manpower, which is a temp agency. I was still waiting for a phone call from them and still freaking out yesterday when I went to this grassy knoll by where my house is being built. I went to work on Bible study, but first I prayed one more time for God to have mercy on me even though I might have acted foolishly with my money, and to rescue me from my own folly. After I prayed I had this certainty that not only would God provide, but He would do so that afternoon. Strange. So, I did Bible study for about an hour and drove home. Maybe about an hour after I got home Manpower called and offered me a receptionist job for next few months. I start on Friday.

Praise the Lord for He is good.

And a One, Two, Three

2005-03-08T17:06:00.000-07:00

In answer to Tom's questions in his posted comment:
1. Zero trophies, one medal for the team match.
2. I did not keep the false eyelashes. I didn't even wear them. They felt too weird.

The competition was an exciting time with lots of great dancing. There were two highlights of the evening. The first was when they announced that team Phoenix had won the team match. However, the real highlight was watching the pro couple dance. They were amazing. I think in the pro dance world they dance faster, and I think that is to showcase their skills of balance and footwork. So if they are playing a song that has a beat like 1-2-3-4, us normal people would do one step for each beat. These dancers danced at about twice that speed. So picture really fast latin dances punctuated by really slow drawn out movements.

I also found out my score for the competition. I got a 93 out of 100. I found this out Monday night at my critique with the male part of the pro dancing couple. He was really nice and British. He said a 93 isn't bad because the highest score they gave was a 97, and they only gave out a few scores between 93 and 97. So, that was nice. Then he wathced me dance with Robert and corrected my posture.

So, that was that. It was a really fun time, and it also helped me think about and evaluate the place ballroom dancing will have in my life.

Wish Me Luck

2005-03-04T17:27:00.000-07:00

Well, on Sunday March 6th I will be competing in my first ballroom dancing competition. I am dancing in the freestyle events which means I don't have choreographed routines. I will be competing in the salsa, cha cha, mambo, rumba, hustle, waltz and tango. I will also be doing the Salsa in a team match. In the freestyle events I am judged on technique in the team match we are judged on how much fun we are having and how loud we are cheering for our team. Woooo!

I will be wearing more makeup than I've ever worn on all the other occasions in my life combined, I will have false eyelashes, and a really big smile. I will have numerous costume changes (by costumes I don't mean the ridiculously expensive dance costumes you typically see, but my own outfits. However, I have met someone who knows the person who made the costumes for Jennifer Lopez in Shall We Dance, so perhaps someday...). I will also be having a really good time. I am super excited to be doing this and my mom is coming to watch.

In all my wildest dreams I never imagined I would actually be in a competition. It's something I always said I would be doing, but never took steps to realize. So, wish me luck on this exciting endeavor, and I'll keep you all posted.

Missing People and Poodles

2005-02-25T17:15:00.000-07:00

I hardly know what to write about though I feel I should write something. It has been far too long since I've posted anything with meat or substance.

I have finally moved my CD's from the yellow Escape (pronounced es-CAP-ay) to my Probe. I've been listening to a little Switchfoot, and it really made me miss you all there in Lincoln. The last time I listened to that CD I was in Lincoln. It especially reminds me of my friends Mary Ann(drew) and Lauren (pronounced with a Spanish accent). I remember always listening to Switchfoot on the way to church on Sunday mornings. (I love you girls!)

Switchfoot also made me think of my spring break missions trip to Mexico. So I've sort of been driving down memory lane lately (because I really only listen to music in my car). Plus, spring is in the air here so everything smells new and is so green (because of the freakish amount of rain we've had). Spring always puts me in a reminiscent mood.

Also, many of you may remember that I had two dogs that I adored. Well, in December my family had to put down my oldest dog. He was a Standard (translated big), black poodle, and He was thirteen years old, so if you do the math you would know he'd been my dog for the majority of my life. He was loyal, sweet and very generous (as only a dog can be, which is something you can only understand if you are a dog person like me). So, today I had a dance lesson and as I walked into the studio this standard, black, poodle walked up to me as if she knew me. The way my dog used to do. Without even thinking about it I started talking to her the way I talked to my old dog, and she followed me around and stood right by me as I put my dancing shoes on. She was comfortable with me and I with her. It really made me miss my old dog.

This isn't a really important post, but my heart has been bleeding a little bit down here. I've been missing my old friends even as I'm getting used to tooling around the city. And I've been wondering will I ever have such dear friends again? Do people in the working world have time for relationships? Where is the balance between contributing to society, earning a living, and being relational with people? Perhaps I will understand better when I am employed and not a bum sponging off her parents. Ah, well, it's nothing the good Lord can't fix anyway.

Progress

2005-02-16T17:58:00.000-07:00

We went to see our house today. This is my dad pointing to my sister to tell her to take the picture from the other side.

2005-02-16T17:56:00.000-07:00

This is the frame to our house. I think it is only the first level. I'm really looking forward to when we move in.

A Date With Destiny

2005-02-08T11:18:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I went to the introductory class for BSF or Bible Study Fellowship (Thanks, Jen). As I was signing my name on the new student list I glanced up to the top of the list and noticed a very familiar name. Rachel Daberkow. Yes, my long lost friend from Lincoln, Nebraska was in fact now sitting about twenty feet away from me. I hurriedly finished signing my name, and walked directly up to her. She, of course, was shocked to see me there because last she knew I lived in Nebraska. After we got it all cleared up that I do if fact live in Arizona, we started talking as if there had never been any time or space between us. Rachel, if you don't know, has this knack of going straight to the heart of your life. There is no room for small talk with her. So, we sat through the intro class together and through a lecture on 1 Corinthians.

I have lived here since December 22nd. I have not interacted with a peer face-to-face at more than a surface level since I've moved here. The only other people I have contact with are my family, and the people at the dance studio who are twice my age. Seeing Rachel and getting to talk to her about life since we last saw each other was pretty monumental. But the coolest part is about two minutes before I pulled into the parking lot of the church where BSF meets, I layed my heart bare to the Lord. I knew full well that many of the women in the Bible study would be older and married, but I asked that there would be someone my age there who I could be friends with. And you know when you pray and your heart echoes what you are saying? I wasn't just asking with words, but my spirit was asking too. Enter Rachel.

He is so good to me.

And So it Begins...

2005-02-05T17:58:00.000-07:00

Today I received my Nebraska Teaching Certificate.

It was adrift in the mail for days. Floating from one old address to another, but finally this piece of paper, which holds so much weight, has arrived.

Who could have know that a single sheet of paper could mean so much?

I am one step closer to starting the rest of my life.

Kick Me While I'm Down

2005-01-23T16:20:00.000-07:00

Many of you know that I am currently residing in a two-bedroom apartment with my family. Many of you may also know that there are four members in my family, including me.

So, do the math with me: Two parents minus one bedroom equals two siblings plus one bedroom. That's right. Me and my sister are sharing the remaining bedroom. Not something many of you have done since grade school. Well, not only do I have the pleasure of sharing a room with my sister (something I really don't mind), but I also have the pleasure of sharing a bed with my sister. This, I'm sure, is something not many of you have done at all, save on family vacations.

At first the idea of sharing a bed with my sister didn't seem so bad, and it's only until our house is built. Last night however, I learned a hard lesson. My sister acts out her dreams. Mostly, this results in tossing, flopping, rolling, and other actions that make it difficult for the other person in bed to maintain those precious minutes of R.E.M. Last night; however, I managed to fall asleep and was having this really realistic dream about a terrorist, an underground militia who was trying to wipe me and my friends off the face of the earth, Will Ferrell, and tea with a roguishly handsome nameless captain of the union civil war army. My friends and I were chasing down a mole in our fugitive group when a sharp shooting pain woke me up. Now fully awake, I realized my sister had just kicked me in the stomach. Kicked me in the stomach! KICKED ME IN THE STOMACH!

This morning I told my dad about what had happened starting with my dream (because you know my stories are never short), and ended with the coup de grâce. The kick in the pants my sister gave me in her sleep. My dad laughed, and my sister gave the long awaited explanation. She was fighting bad guys in her dream next door to my dream, and was busy kicking the bad guy in the head.

Of course in real life we all know what really happened.

On a related note, I've contracted my sister to act as my bodyguard.

AC in AZ

2005-01-17T17:39:00.000-07:00

Well folks you heard it here first. Today the high in Peoria, Arizona was 77°. We had to turn the air conditioning on, people were laying out at the pool, and grilling out too.

Of course my goal in this post is to make you all insanely jealous. So jealous the only hope of relief is for you to move down here to live with me.

I will simply sit back and see how long it takes my plan to work.

Raisin Cakes

2005-01-14T23:11:00.000-07:00

Hello all! Can I tell you more about my dancing lessons? Will you still listen? Perhaps those of you who know how close dancing is to my heart, how it is one of the ways I am moved to such joy that it can only be from the Lord, perhaps those of you will read on.

I have had several lessons by now, and Lance and I have narrowed the dances I wish to learn to the following four: waltz, tango, cha-cha and salsa. Lance said he was surprised I chose the waltz and tango because people my age tend to chose the dances you can do in clubs. But, I chose them because they are very aesthetic dances, and when I did them for the first time, I fell in love with them. Lance turned on this really beautiful waltz song and we floated across the dance floor, I was transported.

But enough of that. Meanwhile at home I'm just here helping out. I'm eagerly awaiting my paperwork to arrive from Lincoln so I can start subbing at the very least (so I can pay for more dance lessons). I am living a very quiet life, and that is okay because sometimes you can hear the voice of God better in the stillness.

In my quiet time book (yes, I am still doing that with occasional breaks in the Psalms) we have moved onto Hosea, and God's heart for His people, and how deeply He loves them. The chapter opens with Hosea 2:14 which says, "Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her." I have been led into a desert (quite literally), and God does allure me. In studying Hosea, He nearly terrifies me with the depth and steadfastness of His love for His people, a group in which I am included.

There is something about knowing (in your mind) and hearing that God loves you and will never cease to, and then there is something altogether different about reading about it. But not just reading about it. There are times in the Word when I am not reading anymore, but have put myself in the shoes of the Israelites (or whoever it may be), and am brought face to face with the reality that God is trying to communicate. His huge, all-encompassing, never dying, passionate love for a people who would sooner worship and love sacred raisin cakes then the God of the Universe. Yet how can I condemn them because I love raisin cakes too, they just look less like raisin cakes and more like entertainment, convenience, and any other number of things I turn to for my life.

Then, if I can wrap my human, finite mind around His love for even a moment and move under His banner, there is, perhaps, the greater issue of His plan for His glory. Once I am on my knees submitting and moved by His great love I begin to want to live for His glory. God has also laid out how He wants us to live. In peace, and harmony with love for others because when we are under His banner, we can see others the way He sees them. We can love others the way He loves them. And so, the question I have been grappling with this week (and will probably be grappling with for much of my life) is how can I love my family so that they don't see me, but God? Or see Christ in me. However you want to say it. How can my actions and words show to my family the love and grace bestowed on me by God?

I think that is all for now, thank you for listening. Or reading, as it were.

Dancing Fool

2005-01-06T23:05:00.000-07:00

Well, I had my complimentary dance lesson. My instructor and I focused mainly on the Salsa and the Rumba. It was fun. I have three more lessons coming up in the next four days with my private teacher...whose name is Lance. I am also going to three group classes, and if I am brave enough, three dance parties. I cannot believe I am doing it because I was too scared to before.

On an even better note, (I know, you are asking yourself, "How can there be something better than private ballroom dancing lessons with a teacher named Lance?") I stopped by two churches today and picked up some information. The first church I went to was very promising. Of course it's hard to tell without going to a service. That is something I will need to work out with my family... Anyways, I had a really encouraging conversation with the receptionist, so we'll see what happens from here.

Tripping the Light Fantastic

2005-01-05T19:07:00.000-07:00

Well, I seem to write in little bursts don't I?

Okay, okay, okay. Tomorrow night at 6pm, I am one complimentary lesson closer to my dream of becoming a Ballroom Dancer! That's right! I am taking a lesson tomorrow, and I'm very excited. I'll let you all know how it goes.

Click here for background on the phrase, which I'd only heard my dad use.

Tripping the Light Fantastic

The Stuff of Blogging

2005-01-05T16:18:00.000-07:00

It's been quite a few days since I've posted something hasn't it? There is something about starting and maintaining a blog, and there doesn't seem to be anything in the world quite like it. I often find myself thinking what events I should post in my blog, and, of course, how to relate them to you my audience. Even the smallest occurrences shine with the possibility of postworthiness.

Perhaps this is what being famous is like (something I secretly long for); give your public (in this case the people who read my blog) a little bit of you at a time. For, if I give you too much, well it is just a bit awkward to have so much of oneself available online, but if I give you too little, then I am inaccessible and hardly worth following (in the strictly blog or fame sense). Preferably I would only post about events that are deep or funny or witty or entertaining in some way. If I cannot then I must take the most daily, prosaic (a word borrowed from Lauren's blog) things and write about them in such a way that they are deep or funny or witty or entertaining in some way.

How does one do it? For example, there have been several things that have happened to me since my last post, but I didn't think I could write about them. There was one thing I sat down to write, but by the time I was nearly finished, I couldn't bear to post it. It was too blasé.

But as I mature as a blogger, perhaps I will become more comfortable with posting the more daily stuff of life. And what can be a more appropriate window into my newly uprooted life than the daily things? Perhaps this can be considered my first attempt at writing in this way.

So there you have it, your daily dose of fluff. Enjoy.

On the One Who Loves Me

2004-12-29T19:13:00.000-07:00

Just some reflection after a quiet time...

In this new stage of my life, I don't have a sense of direction. Nothing is familiar. I don't know what to think or what to feel. As my compass needle spins wildly trying to find north, and as I kick and flail my legs trying to find and break the surface of the water, there is a stillness, a point of stillness within me. It is He!

He is constant, He is ever pursuing and He is relentless in His pursuit. He cannot forget me. He cannot! And what a relief because just as His memory starts to fade from my mind, He is behind me grabbing my hand like a lover. He begs me to take a walk with Him or just to sit. He fills my ear with How much He loves me, and how He'll never stop loving me. He begs me to meet Him here in this very spot again tomorrow, and the next day...

And though He is the lover of my soul, He is not young as I am. No, He has the wisdom of the ages. And if I can quiet my wildly beating heart for a moment or two, I can hear His words. He loves to teach me, and I love to learn. He is patient with me for I am forgetful and slow to grasp His simple profundities, but He loves me and never stops.

This is the One whom I love, this is the One who loves me.

Cabin Fever and Trouble in the Galley

2004-12-29T11:54:00.000-07:00

Phew! Who knew a two bedroom apartment with four people in it could feel so small? Well, when I say it like that it makes perfect sense.

Yesterday I didn't even get out of grubby clothes. I spent the day helping my mom clean and cook. She had a hair appointment at 3:30, but she was in such a rush to get there in time her mind changed the appointment to 3:00. So, as she was rushing out the door, she put a box of cornflake crumbs (comparable to shake-n-bake crumbs) on the counter and said, "You know how to make chicken, I'll be back in a little bit!" Well, here is where I must confess something. The only reason I managed to put three meals a day on the table of Love Memorial Hall is because I had a cell phone that got reception in the basement. That's right. I inherited my mom's recipes and also ran up my cell phone bills when it was my week to cook. I still need someone to coach me through the little things when I'm cooking. So there, I'm out with it. I'm not the master cook some of you believe me to be.

Meanwhile, after two frantic cell phone calls placed to my mother(which she didn't answer) I'd managed to coat the chicken in the crumbs (after accidentally opening a can of condensed milk, which is not the same as evaporated milk), and put the chicken in the oven with the lid on. My mom comes home an hour or so later and says, "You're not supposed to put the lid on the chicken! Now it won't be crunchy!"

For any of you who have had shake-n-bake chicken you will understand that part of the delight of shake-n-bake chicken is that the crumbs are crunchy. Well, after nearly 45 minutes of baking with the lid on, the crumbs on my chicken were scrumptiously soggy. So I said to my mother, "The next time you want crunchy chicken, you should either give me more specific instructions or answer your cell phone." My mother gave me a hug and said the chicken would be fine. So, my family and I sat down to a dinner of soggy chicken, oven fries, peas and corn, and salad. It was not my proudest moment, but my family was all gracious enough to eat my chicken.

P.S. The title of this entry of course has everything to do with ships. Cabin fever is extreme irritability and restlessness from living in isolation or a confined indoor area for a prolonged time, and the galley refers to the kitchen area of a ship. Just a little FYI.

2004-12-25T18:08:00.000-07:00

Here is the road to our house (which isn't built yet).

2004-12-25T18:07:00.001-07:00

Here is some of the scenery on the drive.

2004-12-25T18:07:00.000-07:00

These are called Saguaro Cacti.

2004-12-25T18:06:00.000-07:00

Here is Sarah on our little plot of land. Doesn't she look like a cowgirl?

2004-12-25T18:05:00.000-07:00

Here is what our house will look like.

A Word from Benjamin Britton

2004-12-25T00:06:00.000-07:00

This little Babe so few days old, is come to rifle Satan's fold;
All hell doth at his presence quake, though he himself for cold do shake;
For in this weak unarmed wise the gates of hell he will surprise.

With tears he fights and wins the field, his naked breast stands for a shield;
His battering shot are babish cries, his arrows looks of weeping eyes,
His martial ensigns cold and need, and feeble flesh his warrior's steed.

His camp is pitched in a stall, his bulwark but a broken wall;
The crib his trench, haystalks his stakes; of shepherds he his muster makes;
And thus, as sure his foe to wound, the angels' trumps alarum sound.

My soul with Christ join thou in fight; stick to the tents that he hath pight.
Within his crib is surest ward; This little Babe will be thy guard,
If thou wilt foil thy foes with joy, then flit not from this heavenly Boy.

The first, the very first

2004-12-23T17:00:00.000-07:00

Hey all! Here I am in the realm of the bloggers. I can hardly believe it, I think my pulse actually quickened!

Okay on to the juice. I have safely arrived in Phoenix after my three day journey with my dad. It was fun to drive all that way, the terrain is so beautiful as it changes from plains, to evergreen mountains, to desert and Saguaro cacti...and mountains. It gets really rugged in the desert part (imagine rugged pronounced with an Australian accent). There are actually cacti that shoot their spines at you if you get too close. I'm serious. Anyways, it's beautiful.

It was also cool to get some one-on-one time with my dad, and I think I surprised him a little by my road worthiness. I think he thought I would constantly be falling asleep behind the wheel, and need restroom breaks every hour on the hour, and not know which way was up. Or maybe I just thought he thought that.

Anywho, I am rambling now so I will quickly move on to the juicier juice. I've been doing this new devotional called Father, I Long for a Dancing Heart. (If I could use that phrase everyday life would be sweet). It was a gift from Jen. Normally, I find myself far to cynical to do those. I don't really know why. I think I have a hard time with someone else telling me how to have a quiet time. Pride? I think so. Anywho, I've been doing it for two days, and so far I haven't had a pride flair up, and I've enjoyed it. I've been looking at Psalm 46:10. I'll keep you all posted on how that goes.

I think that will be all for now, have a great day and a Merry Christmas.